


Turn: Washington's Chatroom

by casstayinmyass



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Social Media, Boyfriends, Chatting & Messaging, Cute, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Papa Townsend is Too Pure, Rob Is 1000 Percent Done With Abe, Romantic Fluff, Sarcastic Ben, Sexting, Sexual Humor, Social Media, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-13 23:22:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7990039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chatroom between our favourite spies, patriots and redcoats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is during canon time, so don't ask me how they have phones or curling irons.

**_cabbage-patch-abe_ ** _has logged on_

**_sexy_quaker69_ ** _has logged on_

**sexy_quaker69** _:_ Abraham get your FUCKING ASS over here and change my GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING username before I FRY you with my eggs.

**cabbage-patch-abe** : ... jesus rob chill man

**sexy_quaker69** : I fucking mean it

**cabbage-patch-abe:** i thought quakers weren't supposed to swear and stuff

**sexy_quaker69:** Swearing's not the only thing I shouldn't be doing, but with you around, I might as well burn a couple hundred bibles and piss on a rosary

**_Brews_Clues_ ** _has logged on_

**Brews_Clues:** Ha, who knew Robbie could get so worked up, huh?

**cabbage-patch-abe:** oh he can get worked up alright

**cabbage-patch-abe:** ;)

_**tallboy54** has logged on_

**tallboy54:** pffft Caleb your username is ridiculous

**Brews_Clues:** That's not what you said last night

**tallboy54:** that doesn't even make sense...

**Brews_Clues:** Fine, I'll change it

**_Brews_Clues_ ** _has changed his name to **Sailor_Moon**_

**Sailor_Moon:** Get it?? cause I'm a sailor haha

**tallboy54** _:_ still dumb

**cabbage-patch-abe** : pretty dumb yeah

**_sexy_quaker69_ ** _has changed his name to **Rob**_

**Rob:** I don't know, Sailor Moon is an interesting show.

**tallboy54** : ???

**cabbage-patch-abe:** ??? also change your fuckin name robert you've gotta have a cool one like us

**tallboy54:** make yours cooler than Caleb's please

**_Rob_ ** _has changed his name to **respectablequakerwhoseboyfriendisanidiotandshouldbuyhimchocolatetoapologize**_

**Sailor_Moon:** *side eyes Ben* Are we like... interrupting something y'think?

**cabbage-patch-abe:** nope 

**_respectablequakerwhoseboyfriendisanidiotandshouldbuyhimchocolatetoapologize_ ** _has changed his name to **fuck you**_

**_fuck you_ ** _has left the chat_

**cabbage-patch-abe:** shit I'd better go smooth things over with him

**tallboy54:** good luck

**_cabbage-patch-abe_ ** _has left the chat_

**_psycho-is-the-way2go_ ** _has joined the chat_

**psycho-is-the-way2go:** Have you guys seen Abraham?

**tallboy54:**  oh hey Simcoe

**psycho-is-the-way2go:** Shut up Benjamin where's Abe?

**tallboy54:** why?

**psycho-is-the-way2go:** That little shit stole my curling iron!

**Sailor_Moon:** wut

**tallboy54:** well he was just on a few minutes ago

**psycho-is-the-way2go:** wHICH way did he run?!?!!?!

**Sailor_Moon:** I feel so bad for Abe right now lol


	2. Chapter 2

**_Sailor_Moon_ ** _has changed his name to **beard_man**_

**tallboy54:** finally some taste in this chat

 **anniestrongz:** ur gay's showing Ben

 **tallboy54:** xo

**_cabbage-patch-abe_ ** _has joined the chat_

**beard_man:** Aaaabe so how'd it go with Rob eh? you still in the doghouse?

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** This is not Abraham, this is his father.

 **beard_man:** Oh shit

 **beard_man:** I mean oh darn

 **beard_man:** Sir.

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** Would any of you care to explain why Abraham came home with a giant, bar-shaped bruise in the middle of his face?

 **tallboy54:** Simcoe

 **beard_man:** Simcoe

 **anniestrongz:** fuckin Simcoe smh

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** And what about the milk splattered all over Abe's lips? Any explanation for that?

 **beard_man:** HA

 **beard_man:** I meant HA *Mr. Woodhull sir

 **anniestrongz:** um yeah, you might wanna ask his boyfriend about that one lmao I don't think that's milk

**_cabbage-patch-abe_ ** _has left the chat_

**beard_man:** PFFFFT

 **anniestrongz:** XD

 **tallboy54:** abe is such an idiot

 **anniestrongz:** total idiot

**_fuck you_ ** _has joined the chat_

**_fuck you_ ** _has changed his name to **culper_jr** _

**culper_jr:** Ah- lovely day, is it not?

 **beard_man:** It is when you've just had your dick sucked like you

 **anniestrongz:** agreed.

 **beard_man:** What the fuck Anna

 **anniestrongz:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	3. Chapter 3

**_tallboy54_ ** _has logged on_

 **_beard_man_ ** _has logged on_

 **_culper_jr_ ** _has logged on_

 **_anniestrongz_ ** _has logged on_

**_Freedom-Is-Cool1776_** _has joined the chat_

**Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** I finally figured out how to use the Facebook©!

 **tallboy54:** you don't have to put the copyright symbol there, sir

 **Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** Are you sure, Benjamin? I won't get sued? You have to be very careful on the "net" these days. ;) :O

 **tallboy54:** yes I'm sure sir

 **anniestrongz:** this isn't fb, btw. It's just the messaging app we use

 **Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** I don't understand, Anna- I can see your faces when a message appears from you- does that not make it the Facebook?

 **beard_man:** George, sir, why don't you just stick to basics when it comes to messaging, yeah?  

 **Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** A fair idea, Caleb. Now where, may I inquire, is Abraham?

 **culper_jr:** He's gonna log on in a sec, but nobody ask him about what happened with his dad right away- he likes to be dramatic and let you coax it out of him.

 **_cabbage-patch-abe_ ** _has logged on_

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** hey guys :/

 **tallboy54:** hey abe

 **beard_man:** what's up, beanie boy?

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** oh... nothin much... *sigh*

 **anniestrongz:** what's wrong?

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** ohh just... well nothing important im good...

 **anniestrongz:** you sound saddd :(

 **beard_man:** yeah what happened?

 **tallboy54:** please tell us abe

 **culper_jr:** Oh ffs

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** okay well it's just that my dad kind of grounded me for two weeks, since he obv believed Simcoe when he called and asked if I really did steal his stupid curling iron

 **tallboy54:** wait, so you didn't steal it?

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** no I did, but that's not the point

 **culper_jr:** As you can see, Abe's still an idiot.

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** shut up you love me

 **culper_jr:** Very rarely, unless persuaded otherwise.

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** i'll let you top tonight

 **Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** Look, American flag emoticons! - - - - - - Martha come see! 

 **Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** Oopsies, I accidentally typed that last bit instead of saying it out loud! ROFLMFAO! 


	4. Chapter 4

**_oyster-major-stars_ ** _has logged on_

**_anniestrongz_ ** _has logged on_

**oyster-major-stars:** Hi :)

 **anniestrongz:** hey Edmund :)

 **oyster-major-stars:** Oh dear lord you made me blush

 **oyster-major-stars:** Um, just wondering- would you want to go for dinner or lunch or breakfast or tea or something tomorrow?

 **anniestrongz:** which one?

 **oyster-major-stars:** Pardon?

 **anniestrongz:** well you just listed off a bunch of meals but like which one do you want to go for with me?

 **oyster-major-stars:** Oh! Haha, how silly of me. Perhaps dinner?

 **anniestrongz:** sounds lovely Edmund :)

 **oyster-major-stars:** Oh okay, I completely understand.

 **oyster-major-stars:** WAIT

 **oyster-major-stars:** WAHT

 **oyster-major-stars:** saadAJJFJAbdfkjamdvrSkmJDDJKkm,se

 **anniestrongz:** are you dead Edmund

 **oyster-major-stars:** I am SO excited that you said yes!

 **anniestrongz:** :)

 **oyster-major-stars** : :)

 **anniestrongz:** :)

 **oyster-major-stars:** :)

 **anniestrongz:** :*

 **oyster-major-stars:** x.x


	5. Chapter 5

**_artsyandre_ ** _has logged on_

 **_darling_miss_shippen_ ** _has logged on_

 **darling_miss_shippen:** Do you know what I'm wearing?

 **artsryandre:** I can't say that I do...

 **darling_miss_shippen:** Would you like to? ;)

 **artsyandre:** I'm intrigued. Go on then...

 **darling_miss_shippen:** I'm wearing a really tight dress that makes my boobs pop.

 **artsyandre:** Mmm I can see you now. And below?

 **darling_miss_shippen** : flimsy white underclothes. silky bloomers that I want your hands all over. corset. cover. chemise. big crinoline. petticoat as thick as your dick. bodice that I want you to tear off my naked, wanton body.

 **artsyandre:** What colour is the bodice?

 **darling_miss_shippen:** _fiery_ red, just like your coat.

 **artsyandre:** omg Peg I just came.

 **darling_miss_shippen** : wow I haven't even started I'm still working on my sixth layer

 **_rich_dashing_sexgod_ ** _has logged on_

 **rich_dashing_sexgod:** dear Peggy: your love is like a red red rose

 **darling_miss_shippen:** fuck off Benedict

 **rich_dashing_sexgod:** k


	6. Chapter 6

**_xxXRobertXxxXRogersXxx_ ** _has requested a private chat with **cabbage-patch-abe**_

 **_cabbage-patch-abe_ ** _has accepted_

 **xxXRobertXxxXRogersXxx:** ooooooohh Abey boi, you're in for a real lessonnnn t'dee!

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** okay what is it

 **xxXRobertXxxXRogersXxx:** giivvvee me yer password, and I'll tell ye lad

 **cabbage-patch-abe** : ...okay online predator

 **xxXRobertXxxXRogersXxx:** I'm not foolin boi, how d'ye know I haven't already got yer password and I'm just playin with ye?

 **cabbage-patch-abe** : k reporting you now

 **xxXRobertXxxXRogersXxx:** Wait I can teach you how to farm properly

 **cabbage-patch-abe** : im listening

 **xxXRobertXxxXRogersXxx:** And bury a body too!

 **_cabbage-patch-abe_ ** _has reported **xxXRobertXxxXRogersXxx**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_papa-townsend_ ** _has requested to join the chat_

**_cabbage-patch-abe_ ** _has accepted_

**papa-townsend:** Sorry, I don't want to intrude on your messages! I just wanted to ask you all if you'd like to come for Thanksgiving dinner.

 **culper_jr:** Father, I could have simply asked them.

 **papa-townsend:** Now, Robert, you know it's polite if the host asks himself. Can everyone come?

 **tallboy54:** I really wish I could Mr. Townsend but I'm busy that weekend with my folks :,( and caleb unfortunately is coming with me

 **beard_man:** Shit no I'll come Mr. Townsend :D

 **tallboy54:** pardon me, caleb? -___- 

 **beard_man:** Sorry Benny, but Papa Townsend's potatoes are far better than your mommy's

 **tallboy54:** -_____-

 **beard_man:** xo

 **anniestrongz:** i'll def come!!

 **papa-townsend:** Splendid. And you, Abraham?

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** wouldn't miss it for the world :)

 **papa-townsend:** Oh, I'm all teary now- I'm so glad most of you can come, it will be a lovely holiday together.

 **anniestrongz:** :)

 **beard_man:** :))

 ** _xxXRobertXxxXRogersXxx:_** See ye all there. 


	8. Chapter 8

**darling_miss_andre:** Like my new name? ;)

 **artsyandre** : It suits you, my dear.

 **darling_miss_andre:** Oh, the ring looks so lovely John xoxo

 **artsyandre:** I'm glad you like it. So relieved your father gave his blessing haha I thought he'd hate me after last time he tried that

 **darling_miss_andre:** Ikrrr. So what's up?

 **artsyandre:** nm just dealing with this psychopathic asshole Simcoe who decided to drop the fuck in and say hello

 **psycho-is-the-way2go:** you realize I have access to this chat, yes?

 **darling_miss_andre:** aw beb just remember you're sexier and more talented than he is at everything xxx

 **psycho-is-the-way2go:** still here

 **artsyandre:** He creeps me out

 **psycho-is-the-way2go:** I should, I'm holding a butcher knife behind my back

 **darling_miss_andre:** Just smile and nod darling. Smile and nod.

 **artsyandre:** Oh, you make me a better man, my Peggy.

 **darling_miss_andre:** And me a better woman  <3

 **darling_miss_andre:** also I really want to fuck you right now so throw Simcoe out asap and I'll come over.

 **rich_dashing_sexgod:** i'm available

 **darling_miss_andre:** fuck OFF Benedict I don't want no scrub

 **rich_dashing_sexgod:** k :(


	9. Chapter 9

**_culper_jr_ ** _has logged on_

 **_tallboy54_ ** _has logged on_

 **_beard_man_ ** _has logged on_

 **_cabbage-patch-abe_ ** _has logged on_

 **culper_jr:** Ugh. It's just one of those days...

 **tallboy54:** aw what's wrong rob?

 **culper_jr:** My boss is a fucking idiot.

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** yea rivington's kinda a shithead

 **culper_jr:** Whatever. I'm quitting anyways, buying my own restaurant to manage

 **beard_man:** Hey, congrats!

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** yeah proud of you babe :)

 **culper_jr:** In the meantime, I'll have to do my best not to stab him in the eye with a fork.

 **tallboy54:** ....wow ok don't wanna get on your bad side

 **_anniestrongz_ ** _has logged on_

 **anniestrongz:** what's this about stabbing someone with a fork?

 **beard_man:** You have a knack for dropping in at the right moment, Annie.

 **culper_jr:** I was just discussing the imminent demise of my idiotic boss, Anna.

 **anniestrongz:** ooh, sounds fun. what can I do to help?

 **tallboy54:** um

 **culper_jr:** Do you have any knives? The ones at the pub are rather dull.

 **anniestrongz:** oh yeah I've got some lovely silver ones, they're antique! smooth or serrated?

 **culper_jr:** Why not both?

 **anniestrongz:** one for each of us- I like the way you think :)

 **tallboy54:** uh

 **culper_jr:** How does Thursday sound? 

 **anniestrongz:** hmmm I'm with Edmund that evening. saturday?

 **culper_jr:** Perfect.

 **tallboy54:** is no one else disturbed by the fact that you guys are literally planning an assassination in our chat?

 **cabbage-patch-abe:** happens all the time ben you get used to it.

 **culper_jr:** As I recall, it was you who introduced me to the beauty of a good murder, Abe.

 **beard_man** : Can't disagree with you there- very satisfying.

 **tallboy54** : fml


	10. Chapter 10

**_rich_dashing_sexgod_ ** _has changed his name to **the_best_general**_

 **_the_best_general_ ** _has requested a private chat with **Freedom-Is-Cool1776**_

 **the_best_general:** George?

 _Seen 12:38 PM_ _✓_

 **the_best_general:** George?

 _Seen 2:15 PM_ _✓_

 **the_best_general:** George??

 _Seen 5:49 PM_ _✓_

 **the_best_general:** gEORGE

 **Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** Benedict! My word, what a lovely surprise! I just happened to pick up my phone a few seconds ago and see that you messaged me- what a pleasant delight to hear from you!

 **the_best_general:** -__-

 **the_best_general:** right well I was just wondering- there's this thing going on with Peggy and I still haven't been paid back in full, and in order to do the thing I need some cash sooo...

 **Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** Peggy?

 **the_best_general:** yeah

 **Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** Would this be Mrs. Margaret Andre you're referring to?

 **the_best_general:** well that's debatable

 **Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** I'm afraid I don't have your money right now, Benedict. Finances are tight, and there are many others waiting to receive their reimbursement as well.

 **the_best_general:** um fuck them, do you know who I am?!!?!! I'm Benedict motherfucking Arnold, okay?!!??! I won a bunch of battles and I demand to be recognized!!! Do you... omfg do you know how fucking important I am??1!!? jesus mother fuck god omg

 **Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** LANGUAGE!

 **the_best_general:** sorry sir

 **the_best_general:** sooo...

 **the_best_general:** no money?

 **Freedom-Is-Cool1776:** TTYL, Benedict.

 **the_best_general:** yes sir


End file.
